Next Stop...Kick Ass Query Letter

from the archives...2 June, 2010

In print!

A small community newsletter requested a one page piece on my book and I have just today found a copy of it, in print, in the mailbox! A small accomplishment but, nonetheless, an excerpt, author photo and a whole bunch of words screaming, "Look at me!" is in circulation through this far-south part of the city. Just another small step in the progress of my writing journey. (I attached a copy below because i am just that excited.)

Up Next...onto Agency Submissions.

It is a stressful process; an endless on-line search and just when you find an agent that is *perfect* for you, there's some small print tidbit that just doesn't fit with what you or they are looking for. Then you go to bed feeling particularly deflated after putting in a day's worth of tweaking and editing your most awesome query letter which has fast become a useless bit of words tossed together on a page because Agent "A" has far different requests than Agent "B" thru "Z" for whom you began creating your Masterpiece Query in the first place.

Alas, and onto the next.

Though it's a pain in the ass, time lost, it is never time wasted. I've learned a thing or two along the way and in the end, I am forever obsessed with reading blogs, articles, and anything there is to read about the craft of writing. And I find myself, again, immersed in the best of it.

Heck. Yesterday I even came across a few glorious quotes from some well known authors and added those to the file of quotables I keep on the computer. And on a bulletin board beside the computer, taped around the desk, in frames...

(I know I'm a dweeb. And I'm okay with that.)

I have learned a few other things as well:

1. Delete those fancy sentences and thoughts. You know the ones. When you get all wordy and cocky and so proud of yourself. If you begin to envision someone on the other end of that "polished email" saying, "Wow. This writer is so creative. This is the Masterpiece Query we've been waiting for" you are likely wrong. Delete.

2. Keep it simple and short. The long winded descriptions of your personal "how I got into writing" prequel may be fun to reminisce through for you, but for an agent it is likely much like listening to your grandparents ramble on about running uphill both ways in a snowstorm. For the bazillionth time. Delete.

3. Fancy fonts only look pretty on your word processor and are probably best left for kids birthday invitations, banners to your upcoming book signing and the emails you send out to your coworkers inviting them to a Tupperware party.

I love the pretty fonts, witty sentences and often find myself giggling along with my brilliance. Until I look it over a few times, realize it is four hours into reworking the same paragraph and three hours of coffee working it's halcyon buzz through the system.

I have deleted, edited, made a few pretty posters for the upcoming kids parties (and font-ed the crap out of my favorite quote document), then deleted some more.

And all I can say is Agent "F" (because "A" thru "D" were not matches for this writer): Beware. Kick-Ass Query is in the works and will be flashing like a beacon in your in-box/mailbox/PO Box--whichever form you prefer and I am sure it will differ from the last--just begging you to reply with a, "Dear Ms. Fuselli. I have reviewed your query and am interested to hear more. Please forward your entire collection of awesomeness and we will eagerly await while brushing all others aside as nothing else will compare."

Slight over exaggeration? Likely.

...Ahem...

Absolutely.

But it will be coming.

Oh.

It will be coming.

As I step Into the World of Publishing...

from the archives...27 May, 2008

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, mainly a result of avoiding the internet with the year of Girl Guide emails finally over, my first chance since September of not seeing 10-18 messages in the inbox, none of those related to writing.

 

Also, the time has come to self-publish so I have been a busy bee editing and polishing and perfecting a manuscript to ready for self-publishing. I have had mixed reviews on the subject. Some say it’s a waste of time and money; that I shouldn’t have to pay for my own book to get there. Others, excited to finally see one of my book’s in print.

I tend to side with the latter.

Call me crazy, maybe impatient, but I am having a hard time waiting for an agent to pick one of them up, though the submissions do continue from my end. I did come close, hearing back some positive feedback from one, hopes elevated then dashed when I received the dreaded, ‘it isn’t right for our agency’ letter.

No worse for wear, I plug away and move on to the next. In the meantime, until I can dedicate enough time to these submissions (more often than every few months) I will self-publish.

 

Just to see my name in print? Maybe. But more in hopes that it will be a stepping-stone to something bigger. My lack of writing credentials to fill up an author’s bio is evident with the one-liner of ‘mother, nurse, years of self taught writing experience’. It isn’t that bland, fired up much more, because that’s what we writer’s do, but it is bare bones under the blaze. So self-publishing may be part of my progressive work in that direction.

 

Of course, this all comes with the attached job of promoting one’s book. Ugh, the torturous thoughts. Wouldn’t it be easier if everyone just picked it up and said, ‘Wow, an instant Jane Austen’? Yes, but completely illogical. Another of my fantasy worlds. Oh, they are vast.

 

So off I go, to throw my characters lives into the hands of the public. Let’s see what they do with them, shall we?